Last week Friday, I was blessed to be able to go and see Nneka @ SOB (Sound Of Brazils). I'm going to be honest, before I went I wasn't the biggest Nneka fan. I was totally feeling that 'Heartbeat' track (the video reminds me of my second home The Gambia) and I could hum along to some of the songs from her 'No Longer at ease' album. To say I was a fanatic, would have been taking a bit too far. HOWEVER, after seeing her live I AM HOOKED.

Her whole set was acoustic; it had the whole 'Lauryn Hiill Unplugged album' feel going on. It was full of genuine passion and emotion; she shed a few tears during some of the songs. It was obvious, she felt and meant single every word she sang. It came from the heart. The thing I really digged about the concert was her honesty and truth, she had the confidence to freely say what she taught without being apologetic. A quality that is rare. I was entranced by the intimate set for a long beautiful hour.

So, since last Friday until now I have had 'Valley' on repeat - check it out! Peep below one of the tracks she performed on the night.

The night was also a significant night for me. It was the first concert I've EVER been to ALONE. Goooo ME!! :)



I ROCKED THIS! I LOVE THEM EARRINGS (HARLEM BABBY)



I’ve just finished a heated but respectful 1 hour political twitter debate with a complete stranger. I’m now reflecting on how totally random and out the blue it was but on the flip side how healthy an exchange of conflicting ideas and opinion is once in a while. 

My main social circle I must admit consists of a group of people that uphold the same morals, values and ideologies as me (most of the time). Although this is very pleasant, unconsciously a ‘group think’ mentality sometimes does set in. In certain circumstances this collective mindset can be detrimental to the fertile foundation that is needed for new seeds of ideas to blossom. A good ole’ tongue waggle with a passionate person/people whose views clash with my own is something that I find myself at times yearning for. It’s got nothing to do with my ego or always wanting be right, it’s purely due to the fact that it always aids in some type of growth (although I may be highly irritated at the time). 

I’ve had countless debates in my life time, however this one particular stands out due to the platform on which we communicated and the fact and I didn’t know this person from Adam. Not even a profile picture to put an unknown face to the unknown name, nada. A complete and utter stranger.  Upon reflection this unexpected debate allowed me to get into the mind of the mysterious stranger and see issues/thoughts from a totally new perspective. It highlighted the flaws in some of my opinions subsequently creating a shift in my outlook, in this instance on the global political landscape. It provided a platform on which my knowledge was showcased and lack of knowledge was equally brought to the forefront. A few of my character traits which I don’t often scrutinise reared their heads, such as my unapologetically opinionated nature. However, my years of training of in not being afraid or ashamed to admit when I’m wrong have definitely paid off ultimately bringing about balance in myself. Most importantly it showed that respect and keeping an open mind at all times is essential to a great debate (and most things in life). The stubborn ‘You can’t tell me nothing’ mentality can obstruct life lessons and new information, preventing mind expansion – and what good is that?

To sum up my experience I created this quote:

“A great debate opens eyes and unlocks minds”

Love and light

Selina x

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Source

Butterflies flutter,
Softly,
Smoothly,
Like multicoloured raindrops,
In the….
cool breeze,
Gently caressing leaves
That sway to
Harmonies of jubilant elation
Sung by birds
For the morning skies
As the suns warm kisses
Stroke flower petals
Individually,
Blissfully
So…
Perfectly.

 mm

kk

The other day I watched 'Eat, Pray, Love'. If you haven't already seen this film I HIGHLY recommend you go watch it. I don't want to give too much away, but in short its the story of a lady that searching for something more in her life. She leaves her husband and job and sets off on a exciting journey filled with  joy, spirituality and love.

The film is full to the brim with beautiful quotes, but this one is the one that stuck with me:

"...I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call "The Physics of The Quest" - a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: "If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared - most of all - to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself....then truth will not be withheld from you." Or so I've come to believe."

 [[;[

 lkmlk

 

This positive and uplifting song is a great reminder that we are ALL beautiful, in ALL ways ALWAYS!

Lyrics:

"I'm beautiful yes I am, 

 despite the lies  I've been told I still am, 

yes it may seem a bit bold but I am, 

and its cos God made me so that I am"

 
It was a rainy Tuesday and I was listening to the radio, driving my usual route towards work, when Destiny’s Child song “Solider” came on the radio. Without hesitating, I reached for the volume dial and turned up the tune. From the top of my lungs (sounding like Mariah Carey – although some may beg to differ) I sang along: “If his status ain't hood, I ain't checkin' for him, betta be street if he lookin' at me”. After belting out the chorus I had to pause and think about how ridiculous the catchy song words were, “If his status ain't hood, I ain't checkin' for him”, are these women actually serious?

The desire that young girls and grown women have for Bad Boys never ceases to amaze, some may call them boring but to me a Good Man is much more appealing. Let me break it down for you.

The stereotypical media portrayal of this desirable Hood Man that women across the globe are desperately yearning for normally goes something like this: He has 3 or 4 “baby mommas” one of which always has a stalker-ish mentality, he has one “wifey” with countless “tings” on the side to please his nymphomaniac “gyalist” tendencies. He owns a Benz with the chrome wheels still spinning even when he parked up 30 minutes ago, busses 11 bottles of Moët every time he hits a rave with the “man dem”, he’s respected but also feared by the masses. His life is full of excitement with drive by shootings and drug deals taking place on a regular basis as his income is a result of an occupation that can range from anything from a Kingpin, Gangster Rapper to a Pimp.

Maybe I have exaggerated a tiny bit, but I’m sure you get the picture. This manufactured materialistic unattainable persona is what a lot of men aspire to be, and who a lot of women aspire to be with. I don’t know about you, but it sounds like way too much drama to me. Getting a man that showers me with Louis Vuitton bags one day but can’t afford a tea bag the day after is a fantasy that I can openly admit to not relating to. If on a daily basis you’re constantly worrying about your man going to a cell or a cemetery then that is not a good look, no matter how much you try to convince yourself it is.

So, let’s speak about the good man. People normally associate the “good” man to money and wealth but I strongly disagree. To me, a “good” man is a man that firstly loves and respects himself, because without self love you have no love for anybody.  A man with manners and respect, any man that can refer to you as a “ting” and “gyal” should be eliminated from your life - immediately. A man that honours you, if a man likes you he will go out of his way to show you, if you’re sitting by your phone for 3 hours praying for him to call or if he only calls you after 11pm then move on and remember actions speak louder than words. A man with ambition, if he’s making positive legitimate movements in his life and is trying to make a future for himself, while encouraging you to do the same then support him. All you need to see is potential, even if the end result is not in the here and now. In essence, a Good Man is a man that is good to you, that adds value to your already amazing life.

It would be foolish of me to proclaim every man to be perfect as I’ve had a few broken hearts in my short lifetime, but there is an abundance of Good Men out there, and they are not becoming extinct any time soon. What I have learnt from my relationships is that you have to realise that you deserve the best before you can get the best, set your standards and don’t alter them for anybody. You also have to be the person that you desire to be with, you can’t expect to get man with a well paid 9 to 5 but be sitting in your yard collecting JSA watching Jeremy Kyle every morning, it’s just not realistic.

 A lot of women are unaware of the power they hold, most men do what they do to impress us, so if we all demanded more than they would have to change their ways. Ultimately, being a “ride and live chick” is more appealing to me than being a “ride or die chick”, because I don’t know about you, but, I love my life.

Stay blessed,

Selina x