I regularly catch up with my girlfriends back home, via BBM, What’s app or some other free communication method (Give thanks for digital technology). We start with the general "How u doing?”, "How’s your family?" chit chatter. Then without a doubt the "You got a man yet?" question pops up. I always answer "No" (unfortunately) followed by an explanation of the mad experiences that I've had. And yes, I've had some crazy experiences in the NY dating world. Let me fill you in.

*Disclaimer*
Names of people mentioned in the post have been changed/omitted for my personal safety (I ain't kidding). Keeping them anonymous also ensures I don’t get sued, as for some weird reason everybody loves to sue in the US.

Date #1: UNDERCOVER GUN POPPIN' GANGSTER

* He looked a bit like him, cute huh?  

Picture this. 6ft 2inc, dark chocolate, muscular build, jet black locs swinging past he’s shoulders. It was a look made for one of them nude black men calenders (gotta keep it real) lol. Surprisingly, it wasn’t actually he’s looks that caught my attention; it was he’s Tribe Called Quest ringtone, as hip-hop is my heartbeat. I was at work, and he was delivering the Dasani water and the sound of ‘Bonita Applebum’ echoed through the silent office so I had to turn round. I saw him and smiled (any sane heterosexual woman would of), he came over to my desk; we started chatting and exchanged numbers. Following on from there we exchanged a few text messages, telephone conversations and then he invited me out and I accepted. 

We met in a Chinese restaurant close to where I live, he came dressed in a white tee and jeans – the casual look, the way I like it *big smile*. The food was nice the conversation was somewhat ok; we discussed regular things like he’s job, my job, how I was enjoying New York. It was pleasant, but nothing like the 'deep' convo's I'm used to.

The meal finished, we left and he dropped me NEAR (safety first) my house. There was mini hurricane outside so the plan was for me sit in he’s jeep until the possibility of me being blown away was eradicated.  So we sat, and talked. He then proceeded to show me the photos of himself in he’s i-phone, which I thought was bit weird, but whatever. So as we were scrolling through the photo’s one in a particular caught my attention. It was extremely disturbing. It was a self-taken photo. He was standing there looking in a bathroom mirror holding a gun to he’s head. So I asked the obvious question “What are you doing?”, he was like “I was having a bad day”, I replied “So you put a gun to your head!??”. Any regular person would have ran at this point. But no no, not me, I don’t do normal. Being the inquisitive person I am, I stupidly digged a little deeper. (I'm actually shaking my head at myself writing this lol).

So anyway, I asked him if he's ever used the gun before. He's response was a straight-faced, police examination room style  "No comment". It rolled off he’s tongue like he’d said it many time before. He decided to put the icing on the cake when he then proceeded to give me an unprompted in-depth explanation of the situations that would lead to him killing me with he’s gun. Let me remind you, this was still a date! He was talking something about having to eliminate anyone that was a witness to one of he’s crimes. Yes, ELIMINATE. To be honest, at this point I weren’t really paying attention I was focused on planning the quickest and safest exit strategy. Midway through something he was saying, I politely said goodbye and ran (Usain Bolt speed) home in the storm.

It’s typical that the first date I go on in NY is with a undercover gun poppin’ gangster.

So, my search for 'My Soul Mate Husband’ continues…

*Source